See it in your head, hold it in your heart, have it in your hands.

That night as I poked the seaweed fire and got ready for bed two new dogs run across my view and gallop into the sea. So free and friendly I'd admired there awareness of the waves and tumbling in and out never becoming overwhelmed by the strength of the sea. Not long after the owner follows, stopping to question my intentions when camping at what felt like his bay.

The conversation went from one of slight defence, to intrigue and then inset his worry for my safety. I reassured him I'd be fine and he reassured me that he lived not to far if I needed anything and on he went to enjoy the dusk set walk .

Beans and Penne. I thought would like absolutely banging, hearty and delicious. Unfortunately it was all slightly undercooked in my impatience and some bits not even al dente. Definitely didn't pick up the quick cook pasta. Still my hunger was satisfied and I settled in for my first nights rest.

I must of been asleep by 8 pm and woke up thinking, if a night sleep is going to be that comfy through out the trip i'll have no problem camping, I instantly felt quite at home in my bright red half moon of a tent.

Not long after waking up the patter of paws went past again, this time a more timid blind old fella dog. The beautiful sandy coat knew where it was going and continued on its day not fussed by me. His owner Bob on the other hand again like David the night before stopped to chat. Such lovely gentleman who was inspired by my trip and told me about his life as a retired builder turned painter. He'd lived an incredible life reaching the height of his career enabling him to retire to the highlands with his wife. They owned a lavender field which she uses to make perfumes. A lavender field. Can you imagine how stunning that must be?

Bob told me about the first painting he made, how he'd never picked up a brush before but felt the urge to paint a scene he'd made in his mind. The note he left me with was that "you can do anything you want, absolutely anything. Not to be afraid of the journey I had a head. To stay brave. If you can see it in your head, hold it in your heart you will have it in your hands." He tapped his head, rubbed his heart and held his hands out as if ready to take communion.

When i'm nervous I play with my figures and hands, rubbing my sink as if to make sure they're still there. His last notion really struck me as I made this association with his gesture and my habit.

I just needed to see myself at the final sign post at Lands End and I'll make it.

John O'groats

I woke up that morning and felt a sight better. I was here now and there's no turning back, all I had on my agenda today was to walk.. Come on how hard could that be! Before leaving I chose to get rid of some of the food I'd packed. I had a KG of porridge, rice and pasta and halved it all. I got rid of a couple note pads I'd bought of writing and simply had a journal and a A5 book that became my character file, full of people i'd met and their favourite songs.

Once I'd handed over my key I took my picture at the infamous John O'groats sign post and thanked those who donated that morning.

For the next two weeks I was set to follow the John O'groats trail that hugged the coast to inverness. I could see this was going to be a stunning walk and had dismissed the few warnings on the page about bogs and overgrowth. The sun was beating down and really helped motivate me to just get on with in.

The wild flowers that adorned the coastline took a lot of my attention, this occasionally caused my to fall into bog. Which in hiensight is funny but at the time, not very fun. It took core strength to not let the bag take me in head first. At one point maybe two hours in, I decided to take a picture of the heather (See below). As I knelt over the bends in my joints felt warming and encouraged me to take a seat and then a little lay down. I let my eyes rest and a power nap ensued.

The breeze picked up, I could feel warmth on my face and YAP YAP YAP. A little terrier frightened the life out of me! Weighed down by my bag it was as if I was in an electric chair. He owner yelled and came over to see if I was alright. This altercation was actually quite lucky and probably the first of what some call a happy coincidence. Turns out if i'd carried on the route I was going I was heading back to John O'groats sing post. HA! Well thank you sir, and your little runt of a dog - I'm now quite pleased we had such an explosive encounter.

That night I didn't make it to where I'd hoped. I stumbled across a farm and met a wonderful lady named jacqueline, she invited me in gave me a cup of tea and some beans to cook for dinner. She told me I'd have a lovely camp down at freswick bay just two minutes down the road and explained how to make a fire out of dried up seaweed.

She was right. I couldn't of had a more perfect setting for my first night camping. Thank you Jacqueline for you kindness and advise.

It took my over half an hour to put up my tent that night. All I could hear in the back of my head was my Dad the night before asking if i'd practiced putting the tent up before. I laughed and smugly "I'll be fine". Thinking... "Once you've put up one tent you've put up every tent" another one of my misconceptions.

It's quite funny looking back at my thought processes and how things planned out. I can be such a know it all!

TBC

Let's go

The next day I set off from my Nan‘s house to John O’groats. A trip that had been unknowingly in the works for years.

Our close friend, Ann drove my Nan and I to the airport in the early morning with my 17kg bag - packed inside was my home for the next 3 months.

I tried to sleep but by 2am my stomache was in a tight knot and I was head over heels chucking my lunch in to the toilet. Trying to be as quiet as possible for fear of making a fuss and I got myself back in bed hoping that was everything.

But it wasn’t. I had managed to keep it underwraps and quiet enough that my Nan and Ann didn’t realise till we were in the car and on the motor way - I sqwarted from the back seat for the car to be pulled over. It’s funny how things work out, because I know no one other than Ann that would be able to very calmly respond “Sick bags are in the door on your left”. Yikes. That was close.

The pretence of being okay continued onto the flight, telling the flight assistant that I just scared of flying. I had little energy and became a bit delirious. My bag became unbarebly heavy. After reaching inverness I had to walk about 200meters to Blacks to get gas canisters for my stove, I felt so stupid that I’d never thought to check how much it would weigh and if I could handle it. The bloody thing reached the weight of a sack of concrete at some points! This was according to the men in pubs that would snigger at me on entry and whom I'd challenge to lift my bag and if they found that too easy the request of a push up with the weight followed. This pleased me as many of them found it difficult and in return I gained some form of respect from them.

Typical me though, I just wanted to lay down and deal with everything later, so that’s what I did. When I eventually arrived in John O’groates I fumbled about and instead of pitching up my tent I rented a room. Flat out with the most heinous dreams.

These dreams continued throughout the walk. Every night another vivd extreme circumstance followed me into my sleep.

tbc

NOTE: The Meme below was sent to me by a friend of a friend, who I was in contact with for advise. He didn't know what I was going through but couldn't of sent something more encouraging.